Just call me: Morning!

"God sent me here to raise his sun..." [as adapted from Queen GodIs' new project]

These are my favorite moments right before the sun rises and life begins again. I love the crisp quiet when my thoughts can marinate. To watch the mesh of dawn come together. I feel so alive then...now.

For the past few weeks I have been put in the position to receive direct blessings. Sometimes you don't know when a blessing knocks on your door but this time I am certain. So I'm not taking any of them for granted.

From the chance to perform at the apollo to family to answered prayers and finally to a man that couldn't be more right for me if I made him myself, i have been bathing in my light. The one that I snuck with me in my darkest times. It's sooo bright, but it doesn't blind me. I'm comforted.

The path to becoming a better ME is a tedious, winding road that I didn't think i could survive through but I am. It doesn't scare me that the path is not paved because I can see where I'm going now. The everyday doubts (for now) have been silenced. All i hear is pretty mus(e)ic mostly in my head or in my heart.

And just when i think no one's looking...they always catch me being singing in the wrong pitch! lol. So what? It's my song

Gotta go! The sky is turning the most calming shade of blue I've seen, its almost like a reflection. *wink*

...but I won't be blue always
BlueBelle

...And its coming

I made it through my Semi-finals for the Urbanword slam and have advanced to the finals which is April 4th. This year its at the Apollo theatre which is so amazing!

That may be the best part besides having just the opportunity to perform and represent such a movement. I've been to Brave New Voices in 2008 which is the competition that Urbanword makes a team for every year. Its such an honor. Those 5 days changed my life in every way. I have coined the name "Mecca of spoken word" for my feelings toward BNV.

Last year it was also filmed for HBO as a mini documentary series which will premiere in early April. I am excited because its like reliving the experience all over again. So here is the buzz hbo commercial for it...



Now this is one of my personal fav videos that someone filmed from their perspective of Brave New Voices last year. This was a better look than the mainstream one because it actually captures some of the energy.



This year its in Chicago and I'll be ready...

Peace & [hairgrease]!
BlueBelle

PTwittyTV and all Diddy related programming

I may not agree with everything Diddy has done but when it comes to television the man has a vision. lol. From the first season of Making The Band to I wanna work for Diddy even the badboy sponsored shows like Run's House has me glued to the tube. Why? You ask...

Because Diddy is a hilarious, creative, off-the-wall Character!!

You as well as I know that if he didn't appear in episodes or shout on records you might not have given them as much attention as we all are guilty of. Example...No Bitchassness. I mean this guy monopolized an English error and people went & bought the T-shirts!!

Well Mister Combs has done it again. I am a proud member of the Twitter.com family and after much hesitation I finally became a follower of his. Now Diddy has yet again been able to surpass my expectations by flooding my home page with positivity through quotes or even his 48hr fast in promotion of ending starvation.

Through twitter not only have my viewpoints on his personality changed but I am also a subbscriber to his new hit youtube channel PTwittyTV. Made to share with his twitter followers a peak into his life. From studio work to his children to dancing and what is now infamous his debate on which chicken is better: Popeye's or KFC? lol

So I'm sharing my love of Diddy programming with you and some of his advice. Be positive, share your love & energy, and most of all DANCE!! like there is no tomorrow. In the words of "king combs" LET'S WORK!!

Diddy in the studio "Getting Off"



And...him Dancing in the studio to his newest project "Last train to Paris"



But I'll leave you with my personal favorite, Diddy's son Christian and cousin Roxy completely murdering some song NO ONE CAN NAME?! lmao



LET'S WORK!
Bluebelle

If I was a bird, I could defy gravity

Floetry needs to reunite. I would be the first one to buy a ticket to that reunion show. It helped to write the last blog, alot. I learned more about my dreams and relationships with people. Special thanks to whitley, janine, DGS and sunshine for being so open with me. I love you guys!

The beginning of If I was a bird when Ms. Natalie speaks
[INTRO (Talking)]
Sometimes blindness finds me
and leads me through ignorance
not allowing us to gain experience
so we become lifeless
At other times I cover with
self pity or work aimlessly through reality so
Occasionally I choose to travel alone
but never fufill my possibility so
mostly I attempt to achieve balance
by seeking right knowledge and loving
and reviewing and eventually overstanding those
many lessons of my life

And I'm working steadily towards that. The next step is getting my mind dirty by painting and reading this next book.



Feel free in joining whitley and I by going to get a copy yourself. I promise you this book is incredible!

Xoxo,
Bluebelle

The Breakthrough...

I've been isolating myself partially because I'm just getting over a cold. The other part? Well I've been trying to fight my own demons. Handle things as a maturing young adult but now I realize I can't do it alone. Nor can I do it as fast as I would like.

It feels like I'm slow dancing in a burning room watching the walls crumble around me as the record skips...

Painfully beautiful it is, to grow up. People are right you're biggest obstacle is YOU but somewhere in the last 20yrs I've become a chamelion. I can manifest myself into every doubt, insecurity and person that scares me from succeeding.

When you are surrounded by anything it becomes apart of you. These negative things is all I see. My mother's drug habit spiraling out of control. My father's fight with his own pride vs his actuality. The voice of my aunt who thinks my writing/poetry is taking me nowhere. Wondering who's gonna take care of the family when she dies. The cancer turning my only grandma into a helpless victim. Bills strangling the little we have to survive on.

Just some of the things that I see in the mirror or hear instead of my own voice when I take the stage. I want to move & get to a (literal) place where I can access my thoughts but I don't know exactly where that is. So...I'm here. Miserable. Alone. Avoiding You!

I wrote this poem called Desert Storm: Ode to Sahara which is truly me being vulnerable and sharing one of the biggest ghosts that follow me. But each day I think what if its not "good enough" for the uw slam. Like why should I give a f*ck! But making this team is important to me. I have nightmares about it.

So I take each day on my own...pace slowly and try to journey towards this woman I want to be. Its hard ya'll, and I'll need help but I find myself being too prideful to ask for it.

"I lost my smile but put on my vest" (Blu)<-----one of my fav rappers & Below the heavens seems like the only thing comforting me right now.

Hold me in prayer,
BlueBelle

Where In The World is Carmen Sandiego?

After searching for years in high school hallways, street corners, conferences and lecture halls I found what i've been looking for. I'm happy in another lifetime. This is so(ul) amazing as blu would say. My sunshine is missing in action from ny. No wonder I'm just getting over this cold. *chuckles*

::cues floetry song::

Sunshine - Floetry


Now here's a video from Incubus because everyone needs a lil rock in their life. I wish you were here is one of my fav songs!! I miss you sun...brighten up my day. *wink*



...but I won't be Blu(e),
Bluebelle

Rotten Fruit/Human Hearts: Bruised but not broken

Funny how much fruit and love have in common, Isn't it?

You definitely patrol the different rows of fruit in the supermarket looking for the perfect apple/orange/plum/peach and whatever. Always put the battered ones aside. You want something FRESH. How does the saying go "Don't let one bad apple spoil the bunch"? Well its the said to be same for love...

No one wants the shy/quiet/clingy/battered/baggage ridden lover. You want something FRESH. A heart that no one has tampered with yet because you don't want to deal with the insecurities that come with their past. I happen to be a brave young soul and will be the first to admit that I bruise easily.

Maybe I'm not the first...after stumbling across this Natasha Bedingfield song, "I bruise easily" I've realized that everyone has these fears and its okay. So i'm sharing with you one of my new fav songs. Enjoy these lyrics as well



I Bruise Easily lyrics

My skin is like a map
Of where my heart has been
And I cant hide the marks
but its not a negative thing
So I let down my guard
Drop my defenses down by my clothes
I'm learning to fall
With no safety net to cushion the blow

I bruise easily
So be gentle when you handle me
There's a mark you leave
Like a love heart carved on a tree
I bruise easily
Can't scratch the surface
Without moving me underneath
I bruise easily
I bruise easily

I found your fingerprints
On a glass of wine
Do you know you're leaving them
All over this heart of mine too
But if I never take this leap of faith
I'll never know
So im learning to fall
With no safety net to cushion the blow

[Chorus]

Anyone who can touch you
Can hurt you or heal you
Anyone who can reach you
Can love you or leave you

So be gentle
so be gentle
so be gentle

[Chorus]

I bruise easily
I bruise easily




I Bruise Easily - Natasha Bedingfield


This video is extremely dope. The creative impact is incredible. I even teared a little towards the end. I hope this touches you as much as it touched me.

Peace & Blessings,
BlueBelle